First Impressions
by Bisexual Pygmy
Summary: Now posted as one long chapter because i'm lazy, what the four Weiss members were thinking when they first met


First Impressions  
  
I was researching Japanese name suffixes, curious as to what exactly –kun meant. I assumed it was a sign of brotherly respect for your elders since that's what Omi calls his teammates and they don't reciprocate. When I found the answer I was so shocked I went to find five different sources confirming it. The suffix –kun is an honorific term of endearment from a superior to an inferior. Omi doesn't call them –kun because he respects them as elders, he calls them –kun because he is the boss. For that reason, Ken will no longer be referred to as –kun in my fics in Omi's mind or when he and Omi are messing around, though Omi might use it on missions or when he's pissed.  
  
I decided to post this as a one-shot instead of chapters.  
  
The thoughts and opinions of the characters in this story in no way reflect the opinions of the author. I'm sure soccer is a very manly sport.  
  
---OMI---  
  
"So Omi, are you ready to meet your new team?"  
  
"Yes Persia-sama." About time, I've been bored out of my mind since my last team broke up for no apparent reason. Bring on the boy toys.  
  
"Omi, this time there will be no fraternizing with your associates."  
  
"No sir." Damn Persia-sama, ruining all my fun. It's not my fault they all started fight. Some people and their monogamy fetishes. So what if I fool around with one (or both) of the other team members? I am a valuable resource. It's my job to keep everyone up (hee hee) and happy. What's wrong with sharing the love? There's plenty of Omi to go around.  
  
That reminds me, I'm horny.  
  
"Omi are you paying attention?" Is he still talking? He's like the energizer bunny. I wonder if that applies to his stamina as well. That's a thought. He really isn't that bad for an old guy, nice body. On second thought, he's way too annoying.  
  
Blah blah blah. Will he ever shut. . .what's this? An attractive new secretary? Oooh Omi like. As soon as this windbag shuts up I just might have to introduce myself.  
  
Finally.  
  
"Hi" the blush is a nice touch. She looks up at me with a sad smile. Uh oh. I know her, what was the name? Megumi? Maiko? Maki! Maki blowjob at the Christmas party in Persia's office. Bravo Omi! That was like three months ago.  
  
"Omi, the time we shared was very special to me, but. . ." Shit, and here comes the 'We can't be together right now speech.' She wasn't even that good, the blowjob was mediocre and she spat afterward. Always kills the mood. Oh well, at least it's better then the 'I think this could turn into a solid relationship' speech. I can't stand crying girls (or guys). And they always do when I tell them I'm moving to Abu Dhabi.  
  
"You understand, don't you Omi?" finally, I thought she would never shut up. I wonder if anyone was around to hear that and wants to give me sympathy sex. Manx is looking me with a 'poor baby' look. I guess she didn't hear about my history from Persia-sama. She's not too bad, nice legs. Plus she's a workaholic, probably lonely. I'll have to ask her later, she has someone to introduce me to right now.  
  
"Bombay, this is Balinese, Kudou Yoji." This guy is gay. Gay gay gay total and complete homo. I can tell because although he is talking to Manx like a pervert, his gaze never leaves her eyes. Manx can tell too, she looks like she's trying not to laugh. She leaves quickly.  
  
"So, Bombay was it?"  
  
"You can call me Omi." He's pretty good looking, maybe he'll have sex with me. Flamers can be fun. Damn Persia-sama, watching me like a hawk. You would think he expected me to do something naughty.  
  
". . .so then this girl with these huge. . ." this Yoji guy is trying way too hard. I almost want to tell him that I'm bi and I don't give a flying fuck about his sexual preferences, but the sadistic part of me is enjoying watching him flounder.  
  
". . .And then she says to me. . ." okay this is just getting too embarrassing. I better stop him before I can't stand him anymore.  
  
"You have never actually slept with a girl have you?"  
  
"What are you talking about? I just told you . . . "  
  
"Either she didn't exist or she was a guy because I can't see you enjoying the fairer sex."  
  
"You don't mind?"  
  
"Hey if you want to limit yourself to one gender that's your problem." Yoji-kun is laughing now. Good, I hadn't realized how tense he was, but it melted off of him, I like him a lot more now.  
  
"Weiss, this is Abyssinian, Fujiyama Aya."  
  
I didn't even notice Manx coming back in. She has a mean looking guy with her. This guy looks like a hard core assassin. Scary.  
  
"Hi Aya, I'm Yoji and this is Omi." Yoji-kun is all tense again. It must be hard for him to act straight without Manx to faun over. His smile is forced as he holds out his hand for Aya-kun to shake. Aya-kun ignores it with a look on his face that says 'do you really think I would let you touch me?' Seems like a real bastard.  
  
"Abyssinian, it's nice to meet you." Ha ha, Aya-kun is awesome. I have never seen anyone not fall over themselves trying to please Persia-sama. Aya-kun just glared down at Persia-sama's hand like it was something vile. Maybe he's not so bad after all, at least he's a bastard indiscriminately.  
  
"So Aya-kun, why did you decide to become an assassin?" He's looking at me like I'm an idiot. Oh well, I didn't really care anyway. Yoji-kun looks like he might develop a nose bleed.  
  
Hey I haven't thought about sex in like eight minutes. That must be a record.  
  
"Weiss, this is Siberia, Hidaka Ken."  
  
Holy shit.  
  
That is the most beautiful man I have ever seen.  
  
Screw Persia-Sama, there is no way in hell I'm passing that up.  
  
His tight shirt leaves very little to the imagination and I have always had a particularly active one. In my mind I can feel his muscles rippling under his tan skin and his salty taste on my tongue. Shit I'm getting wood. This is so embarrassing. Think of something not sexy Omi.  
  
Sports, all gross and sweaty. Me being forced to play sports. Ken playing sports. Ken panting with exertion, tossing his sweat soaked head back. Ken and I having sex. Fuckberries.  
  
Garbage. Very disgusting. Me taking out the garbage. Ken coming to help. Ken's buff arms hefting those heavy bags. Ken pinning me to the wall behind the building. Ken and I having sex. Fuck a duck.  
  
Persia-sama, that self-righteous prick. Going to Persia-sama's office to be disciplined. Ken taking me on Persia-sama's desk. DAMN IT.  
  
Ducks. Having sex with Ken. Screw it, I'm going to the bathroom.  
  
---Yoji----  
  
"Are you ready to meet your new team leader Balinese?"  
  
"Yes!" Oops, I think I came off as sounding a little too enthusiastic. I better do some damage control, she's looking at me suspiciously, or more specifically, at my clothes. Damnit Yoji, what the hell where you thinking this morning? What kind of assassin wears a skin-tight midriff and low- rise leather pants? A gay one, that's what. I better distract her before she gets the wrong, well the right idea that I don't want her knowing about.  
  
"You have gorgeous legs." Shit, she looks like she's about to fall over she's laughing so hard. Damn it, I was worried about this, I can't let the rest of the team know about my sexual preferences. Manly men, as a rule, dislike gay, and assassins are the manliest of the manly men. I guess I'm the exception.  
  
She composed herself a little bit before opening the door. Good.  
  
"Bombay, this is Balinese, Kudou Yoji." That's him? He's so cute! Like a little monkey or a kitten. He seems too young to lead a band of assassins, but kids have less finely tuned gaydar so I'm not complaining. Still, I better entertain him with tales of my many (fake) conquests just to be on the safe side.  
  
"So, Bombay was it?"  
  
"You can call me Omi." Good, he's friendly too, I was worried when I saw him that he was some newbie that would be all stuck-up and into following protocol. This coulkd be fun, I feel like I have a new friend  
  
". . .so then this girl with these huge. . ." I always like to start with the story of the well-endowed stewardess I fucked on a plane. Although she was really more of a steward. That was fun. The little guy is blushing. That's so cute! He is obviously going to need constant teasing.  
  
". . .And then she says to me. . ." He's starting to look uncomfortable, maybe I'll skip the part about the blowjob in the airport bathroom, don't want the kid to think I'm a slut.  
  
"You have never actually slept with a girl have you?"  
  
Shitty shitty shit shit fucker.  
  
"...I can't see you enjoying the fairer sex." He looks like he's smirking, not disgusted. Maybe he's alright with it.  
  
"You don't mind?"  
  
"Hey if you want to limit yourself to one gender that's your problem." Well I'll be damned. I think I have just found my new best friend. "Weiss, this is Abyssinian, Fujiyama Aya." Hey I didn't even notice Manx standing there. Who's that guy? He's gorgeous. Just the right mix of pale and vibrant color. I wonder if he's as open-minded as little Omi...NO. Damnit Kudou don't think like that you know where those thoughts lead you.  
  
Too late.  
  
I need to think of something quick before they notice the bulge. Girls. Problem solved.  
  
Now I can introduce myself.  
  
"Hi Aya, I'm Yoji and this is Omi." He's refusing my handshake. This is not good. He is obviously a manly man and I feel like he can see right through me, knows all of my deep dark secrets.  
  
"So Aya-kun, why did you decide to become an assassin?" Now that was uncalled for, Omi was only trying to be nice.  
  
"Weiss, this is Siberia, Hidaka Ken."  
  
Omi hasn't moved in the past few minutes. I wonder what's wrong. He sure is looking at Ken funny. Oh.  
  
"BATHROOM" ha ha, wonder what he's going there for.  
  
"So Ken, have any hobbies?" He isn't answering, just staring at the place where Omi was a minute ago like he's deep in thought. I guess he's one of those people that can't think and talk at the same time.  
  
"So Aya, any hobbies?"  
  
(None-of-your-gods-be-damned business glare)  
  
"Interests?"  
  
(Are-you-mildly-retarded? glare)  
  
"Family?"  
  
(Looks offended and angry)  
  
"Life-time goals?"  
  
He hesitates and looks like he might answer, but then he stops and gives me a blank look.  
  
"Anyone in particular you hope to snuff out with your license to kill?"  
  
*grunt* "Takatori" *grunt*  
  
I, Yoji, am the master charmer of all time. I have breached the steel casing of the ice block and extracted a word. A three syllable one no less. Damn I'm good. I wish Omi was here so I could bask in his admiration at my victory. Ken wasn't paying any attention and I doubt Aya would see the glory in the situation. Man I'm glad I have the little guy, I can swiftly see him becoming my island of sanity.  
  
Aya doesn't look like he would be overly enthusiastic about more questions right now so I'll quit while I'm ahead. Ken looks like he is just swimming out of his thought induced stupor.  
  
"So Ken, do you have any hobbies?"  
  
"Soccer." He spat that out fast. "Do you play?" he has the most hopeful look on his face that I have ever seen on someone who wasn't a girl. I almost feel guilty about my oath to never partake in any sort of sport.  
  
"No." His face falls, but he looks like he expected my answer. "I bet Omi will play with you though."  
  
Kudou you naughty bastard.  
  
"Really? That's fantastic! Where is he anyway? I haven't seen him in a while. I wonder if he's all right. I'll go check on him."  
  
Shit, Damnit Kudou, you and your big mouth. I really hope Omi went to the bathroom and take a piss and not other things. Although since he's been gone about twenty minutes and the bathroom is across the hall it's doubtful.  
  
I'll wait a few minutes and then go check and save him if he looks embarrassed.  
  
Aya is looking all grumpy and scary again. What I wouldn't give to know what he's thinking.  
  
--Aya--  
  
This is so fricken cool.  
  
I am an assassin. A bona fide secret agent. If Aya could see me now! This is going to be sooo cool. Me and the team will be like brothers, and we'll have campouts and shower together and swap manly stories and spit and grab each others rears.  
  
Unless they don't like me. What if they decide I'm not worth backing up and leave me to die in a ditch somewhere? Then who will take care of Aya? No, don't think like that Ran, Aya will be fine and the team will love you.  
  
But what if I'm not assassiny enough? I'm glad I rented all those movies last night to research, but which should I follow? James Bond? No, he was more interested in sex then working, I don't think I'm suave enough for that. Indiana Jones? No he had sex a lot too. I know! Batman[1]! All unemotional and cranky.  
  
"Weiss, this is Abyssinian, Fujiyama Aya." Hey she got my name wrong. Darn I must have been distracted when I filled out the release form. Oh well, too late now, an assassin wouldn't care if they got his name wrong. He would probably be glad, secret identity.  
  
"Hi Aya, I'm Yoji and this is Omi." Is he testing me? Surly an assassin wouldn't be so quick to shake hands with a stranger. I saw batman, I know about those joy buzzers that electrocute you. Must be some kind of initiation. The bastards.  
  
"Abyssinian, it's nice to meet you." Not Persia too. It seems very unprofessional that he would participate in the team hazing. I'll glare to let him know I'm on to his game.  
  
"So Aya-kun, why did you decide to become an assassin?" Is that a trick too? I don't think I should answer, but then he's my team leader. He sounded pretty happy when he asked it, I bet its another test.  
  
"Weiss, this is Siberia, Hidaka Ken." Is this guy in on it too? Or is he just another unwitting stooge like me to be tested and most likely chastened later? His smile seems pretty sincere, I don't think he knows. Good, maybe we can team up to beat this thing.  
  
"So Aya, any hobbies?"  
  
And the testing continues. This is getting old, why can't they just accept me?  
  
"Interests?"  
  
Does he think I'm an idiot? No way I am tell him about my dinosaur collection.  
  
"Family?"  
  
That was just mean, trying to get me angry. No need to rub it in my face.  
  
"Life-time goals?"  
  
This might be a good time to mention my hope to destroy Takatori. No, I don't want them to think I'm obsessed, I'm not. Really.  
  
"Anyone in particular you hope to snuff out with your license to kill?"  
  
Well now he asked specifically. *grunt* "Takatori" *grunt* Oh good job Ran, that was very manly sounding.  
  
He looks pleased, maybe that means I passed and he'll leave me alone.  
  
"So Ken, do you have any hobbies?"  
  
I hope Ken took the time to bone up on proper assassin behavior. Speaking of which I better drop by blockbuster on the way home if I don't want to waste my first paycheck on late fees.  
  
"Soccer." Apparently not. Dang Ken, if you're going to admit to having a hobby at least make it something manly like Football. Soccer is for sissies.  
  
Wait where's he going? Don't leave me alone with him Ken. I thought we were a team.  
  
Kudou's looking at me now like he might start interrogating me again. He's very intimidating. He's obviously a hard core assassin, just look at his outfit. Its tight so its aerodynamic and it shows a lot of skin to be distracting. It would be perfect in a club or a fancy party, which, if James Bond is to be believed, is where most criminals hang out.  
  
"So"  
  
This silence is getting uncomfortable. I should say something. No, this is another test, Assassins don't get uncomfortable. They have to be quiet for a long time. I'll just glare at Yoji until he decides to move on to something else.  
  
"Let's go check on those two."  
  
--Ken--  
  
Wow this is exciting. I love meeting new people. Meeting new people is a lot like playing soccer. You shoot and you either make a goal, and you have a new life time friend or you miss and you have a new mortal enemy. Okay, maybe not so much like soccer.  
  
I wonder if any of my new teammates play soccer. That would be so spiffy. I could really use a work out buddy.  
  
"Weiss, this is Siberia, Hidaka Ken." The tall guy is most definitely not a soccer player. Is he dressed that way because he's gay or is he trying to make a statement?  
  
The red head is too scary to be a soccer player, I don't think I'll even bother asking. Although he did look a bit relieved when I came in.  
  
The short blonde is cute. I can see him playing soccer. It will take a couple of weeks to train him into a worthy opponent but then life will be peachy. I can see it now. Go to the park early Sunday morning, play soccer non-stop until for, maybe stopping for a hot dog, and then we can sit on a bench and laugh and talk about the work out we got and pour Gatorade on each other, and then we can take off our shirts and massage the kinks out of each others backs and I can get a handful of that perky little ass and slip my...huh, my thoughts usually go from sex to soccer, not the other way around.  
  
Good thing I wore my lucky cup today. I felt silly putting it on under my boxers when I wasn't planning to play soccer, but I figured I needed all the luck I could get. Wouldn't you know the little guy saved me again.  
  
Times like this I like to think of Kase to kill my boner. Everyone thought we were all hot and heavy because we were such good friends, but he is probably the least sexy guy on the planet. He was covered in fur from the neck down and had a prick that would make a three-year-old laugh in smug superiority.  
  
"So Ken, do you have any hobbies?"  
  
"Soccer." Well, it can't hurt to ask. "Do you play?"  
  
"No." Dang. "I bet Omi will play with you though." Score!  
  
"Really? That's fantastic! Where is he anyway? I haven't seen him in a while. I wonder if he's all right. I'll go check on him."  
  
I think he said he was going to the bathroom, but he's been gone like twenty minutes. I'll go check the bathroom first anyway.  
  
Uh oh, it sounds like he's in pain. I can hear moaning. I hope he's okay, what could possibly be going on in there.  
  
"K-e-n" I guess he heard me come in.  
  
"I'm here Omi, are you alright?" There's a scream and some frantic banging and shuffling, this doesn't sound good. I try the door but it's locked. Shouldn't be too hard to break.  
  
"Omi, stand back I'm coming in."  
  
I can hear him screaming that he's okay, whomever is in there with him must be really scaring him.  
  
The door swings in, I'm not sure if he opened it or I broke the lock, but I barreled into him and we ended up with him sitting on the toilet and me straddling his slim waist. He's turning red. I probably should get off of him, but he looks like he's going to bolt the second I do so I should ask first.  
  
"Omi, do you like soccer?"  
  
"...yes."  
  
"Wanna play with me sometime?" I feel the start of an erection poking into my thigh. A kindred spirit! I thought I was the only one that got a hard- on from the mere thought of soccer.  
  
"Is that a yes?"  
  
*nod* I'll get off of him now, he seems uncomfortable. He's blushing again. Maybe I'll ask him out.  
  
"Hey Omi. . ."  
  
"Omittchi, I've been looking all over for you. Let me take you out to breakfast, there's a diner nearby that makes the best pancakes."  
  
Darn Yoji, coming at the worst possible time. And Omi's going with him. Seems relieved.  
  
"I guess that leaves you and me big guy."  
  
"Hn."  
  
Aya looks jealous too, maybe we can commiserate together.  
  
--------Some may argue that Aya is slightly off character. I disagree. In my travels I happened upon a magazine in the pocket of the seat in front of me that had a quiz to determine if someone has psychic powers. I am one of the gifted, the few, the psychics. My friends assure me that my psychic power is so strong it transcends into the fictional realm, so I can say with 100% certainty, without a doubt, that this is what Aya was thinking.--- ------------- ----------------------- [1] I am thinking of comic book batman, who never cracks a smile except to safeguard his secret identity, none of that cheesy "The nobility of the almost human porpoise" crap 


End file.
